Be My Little Kitty Cat
by Vienna Deliny
Summary: Kenny refused to take the cat into his home, and after the boys have a little bet, Cartman knows exactly what he wants from his poor friend. Rated M for foul language and sexual themes. Kenman one-shot.


"I hate you, Kinny."

Cartman stood with his chubby arms folded stubbornly over his chest, his lips, thick and moist, pulled into a childish pout.

"I know you do, fatass," Kenny said, rolling his eyes.

Cartman was trying to convince Kenny to take in a cat from the pet store, a small and fluffy caramel tabby with wild yellow eyes.

"Don't be such an asshole Kinny!" the brunet said, loudly enough to turn a few heads from other customers in the store.

"How am I being an asshole?" the hooded boy asked angrily, "I can't take care of a cat! I can barely take care of myself and my family!"

"But Keeennnnyyyy! Look at him! Come on!"

"No!" the blond insisted, "why don't you take it?"

"Because I already have a cat."

"Doesn't Mr. Kitty need a friend?"

"No, he has me."

"Then I guess we can go."

Cartman narrowed his eyes and shoved Kenny backwards. "You're a dick, Kenny!"

"Hey! Don't fucking push me around!"

Cartman smirked. "Or what?" he asked, pushing him again, harder.

Kenny sighed, saying nothing. _Or nothing. _Sometimes Kenny wondered why he put up with Cartman. With the abuse and the name-calling. Maybe it was because they'd been 'friends' since kindergarten. If he hadn't left him yet, he probably never would. They've been through too much together.

The heavy boy's face fell when his friend didn't fight back. "God, you're such a pussy," he mumbled, facing the ground. Kenny took that as his apology. "Let's just go."

"I'm sure the cat will find a better home with some other family," Kenny offered, trying to make the brunet feel better. Even though he thought Cartman's pouting was some sort of adorable, he couldn't help but feel bad knowing he was upset. "A better one than I could have given it."

"Shut up, Kinny."

"Alright, whoever wins the most rounds out of 5 is super kewl and the other is a poor asshole," Cartman instructed as he popped the disc into his Xbox. The two were getting ready to play super smash bros.

"That's kinda weak," Kenny told him, ignoring the fact that he'd insinuated that he would be losing, "let's make it more interesting."

Cartman rolled his eyes. "What could you bet me, Ken?" he enquired, "I don't want your ramen noodles."

Kenny glared at him. "The loser is the other's slave for the rest of tonight," he stated firmly.

Cartman looked a bit surprised. "You really that masochistic?" he asked with a chuckle, "alright, you're on."

About an hour later, Cartman was on his feet cheering. "I win, you lose, heh heh heh heh heh heh!"

Kenny blew a stray lock of hair out of his face. How did he manage to lose 4 of the rounds? He was out of practice, certainly. "Shut the fuck up, fatass!" he snarled, "what do you want?"

"Oh but I don't have to shut up, Kenny. I won. I'm your master now, so I suggest you talk to me with more _respect."_

Kenny huffed but said nothing. "Just tell me what it is you want."

Cartman smirked and put his hand to his chin in thought. Suddenly he plopped down on the couch again, much closer to Kenny than he had been while the two were playing. "Kiss me."

Kenny's eyes widened. "Uh... what?"

"You heard me. Kiss me, Kenny. On the mouth. No cheating."

Kenny looked into his eyes, trying to tell if he was being sarcastic or not. But usually, his sarcasm was very blatant.

"Alright," he murmured, climbing onto the other boy's lap and putting his hands firmly onto his broad shoulders. "Ready?"

Cartman's face turned a bright red, his lips parting in surprise.

"Goddamnit Kenny!" he yelled, pushing him off of him and onto the floor harshly, "You weren't supposed to actually do it! I was _kidding!"_

"Oww!" Kenny complained from the floor, trying to sound angry but feeling more embarrassed and discouraged. Why would he try to do that? He and Cartman were best friends – nothing more. Of _course _he had been joking. "Well, I'm sorry but you told me to!"

"You should have known I wasn't being serious!" he shouted again, his blush refusing to go down, why would I wanna kiss you?!"

Ouch. "Shut up you fat turd!" he growled, his own face reddening; only in anger.

Cartman glowered at him. "Call me fat again, I dare you!" he snarled.

"Fine, _fatass!" _Kenny screamed, supporting himself on his elbows now, "you're a fat piece of shit!"

Cartman let out a predatory growl and jumped on Kenny, the two rolling around on his living room floor until the brunet wrestled himself on top. He pinned the other to the ground by his shoulders firmly. Kenny struggled underneath him, but his weight was too overpowering; and Kenny was never a strong dude in the first place.

"Get off of me!"

"No! I get to do what I want!"

"No way, your thing was for me to kiss you and you copped out on it anyways!"

Cartman shook his head. "That wasn't the deal, Ken. _Slave for the entire night. _You said it yourself."

Kenny huffed, knowing he was right. "Whatever," he hissed out.

Cartman's eyes suddenly brightened and he got a sadistic look on his face. "Be my kitty."

Kenny's nose wrinkled. "What?!"

Cartman leaned down so their faces were almost touching. "I want to you be my little kitty cat."

Kenny blew in his face. "No fucking way!" he said, unamused, "that's so dumb."

"It is not! You didn't let us get that cat so now _you _are going to be my new feline friend."

"And if I don't?"

"I'll fart on you."

Kenny squirmed under him. "Sick, dude! Shut up!"

Cartman didn't budge. "I'm not kidding, Kenny."

Kenny put his hands on the other's shoulders and attempted to throw him off, only resulting in his hands being pinned beside his head.

"Just agree and I'll get off," Cartman said simply, "and if you don't... well, I had KFC last night."

Kenny's face turned up in disgust. "I hate you so much."

Cartman shrugged and scooted up onto Kenny.

"Agh! Get off, you're crushing me with your fat lard ass!" Kenny whined, struggling to breath as the brunet crushed his chest.

"I've been holding this fart in all day, Kinny~"

Kenny let out a frustrated groan. "Noooo!"

"Threeeee... twoooo..."

"_Meow!" _The soft sound flew out of Kenny's mouth, surprising the both of them.

Cartman's lips parted before turning into a goofy grin. "Good kitty!" he praised before climbing off of the poor blond.

Kenny breathed in deeply, his chest aching just a bit. He started to stand up before being pushed down again by the larger boy.

"Cats don't stand on two feet."

Kenny pouted and reluctantly got onto his hands and knees.

"Be a good kitty kitty and stay while Daddy gets your collar."

Kenny's face flushed. Collar? He had to be joking. That was borderline kinky. He must know that, right? What was he trying to do?

Cartman came with with his promised collar; a fairly normal looking thing made with red leather. The blond made no struggle as it was fastened around his neck securely. "There," Cartman mused.

Kenny's face matched the collar. "You're an assh-" he was cut off by Cartman's hand, squeezing his cheeks together and making his lips squish up like a fish.

"_Cats. Don't. Talk," _he said sternly, amber eyes glaring hard into Kenny's cerulean ones.

Kenny swallowed thickly and nodded, in the moment feeling strangely terrified of his best friend.

Cartman smirked at the blond, knowing he was getting to him. He let go of the poor boy's face and smiled at him. "Is kitty hungry?" he asked, voice sickeningly sweet, "does he want a treat?"

Kenny was always hungry, he hardly ever ate anything. He always let Karen eat his share of food, but he was too proud to accept anything from Cartman now.

Kenny at him silently, shaking his head no.

The brunet looked at him with challenging eyes before taking his hair, earning a surprised yelp from the blond, and forcing his head down lower to the ground – about the same height as his crotch.

"How about some milk then?"

Kenny's eyes widened. He couldn't be asking him what he thought he was. That would be way too far. He didn't want to even kiss him for Christ's sake! Kenny suddenly felt his pants tighten. No. No no no no no _no way _he was getting a boner for _Eric Cartman; _his fat, racist, greedy, arrogant, bigoted, self-centred, anti-Semitic _best friend. _

His throat felt dry and he found himself licking his lips. "Okay, dude," he murmured before reaching a hand up to undo the other's zipper.

Cartman grabbed Kenny's wrist, and the blond initially thought it was because he'd spoken instead of meowing. "That isn't what I meant, Kenny," he said, though his tone suggested he'd purposefully made him think so much, "but of course that's what you immediately thought about; you're just so eager to have my dick in your mouth, huh?"

Kenny's face darkened red. That was twice he'd fallen for his tricks.

With out another word being said, Cartman walked out of the room. Kenny stayed on the floor, angry at himself. In only moments later, the brunet returned with a bowl of milk. He placed it in on the floor in front of the other before giving him a shit-eating grin. "Go on, Kitty."

Kenny rolled his eyes and reluctantly leaned his head down, closing his eyes and lapping up the white liquid from the dish. A feeling of shame and vulnerability washed over him and, because of his pervy masochistic mind, he felt his dick get a bit harder. Fuck this shit.

Kenny's little problem didn't go unnoticed. "There's a good kitty," he purred, kneeling down beside the blond, "so obedient."

Kenny's face flushed red, but he didn't stop drinking.

"You just love me being your master, don't you?" he asked slyly, trailing a hand over Kenny's thigh. The blond choked on his milk. "You're just dying for me to dominate you; I can tell. You'd be a great sub, Ken. You can take orders well."

Kenny bit his lip, shifting as his pants were getting uncomfortably tight. Why was Cartman doing this to him?

"Moan," the larger boy said suddenly.

"W-what?" Kenny breathed out, looking up from the bowl and into the hard eyes of his best friend.

"Moan for me, kitty," he said again, not seeming to care about the no talking rule anymore, "I can tell you want to."

"No way dude!" the other cried, voice cracking. Moan for his best friend? It was bad enough he had a hard-on from the treatment.

Cartman narrowed his eyes. "I'm not going to ask again, Kinny."

When he got no response from the blond, he let out a growl and jumped on him, knocking him backwards and spilling the milk all over Kenny and the floor, too. Before the other could struggle, Cartman took the poor boy's wrists and pinned them over his head.

Kenny's eyes widened and he flexed his wrists, finding the other's grip to be intimidatingly strong. He could never say it out loud, but he loved feeling the other's weight on top of him. He liked the trapped feeling of it.

"I'm going to make you moan, Kenny," Cartman promised, starting to slowly roll his hips on the blond's.

Kenny had to admit to himself, the friction felt amazing, but he stayed quiet. "Dude... this is pretty fucking gay..." he said quietly, turning his face away from Cartman's.

"I'm not the one with the boner," the brunet dead-panned back.

Kenny squeezed his eyes shut and let out a shaky breath.

Cartman leaned down and grinned against Kenny's smooth, pale neck. The helpless boy felt his breath hitch and he waited for what he suspected was coming.

"You'd like me to mark you, wouldn't you?" he asked wryly, "god, you're such a whore, Ken."

Kenny growled as a response.

"Careful, kitty," the brunet warned as he took off Kenny's collar. For a moment the blond thought that this meant his torture was over, but he was completely wrong.

Now that he had better access to the poor boy's neck, he lowered his head down again and slowly bit into the flesh.

Kenny bit his lip, careful not to let any sounds break through his cracked lips.

Cartman bit harder, grating the skin between his teeth before sucking, enough to leave a bright red mark. "You look good with that, Ken," the brunet told him, "now you're marked as mine."

Kenny didn't have time to respond before the fatter boy was suddenly sinking his teeth into the other side of his neck harshly. He couldn't help it, he let out a loud, moaning gasp.

"There it is," Cartman mused, proud of himself, "that wasn't so hard, was it?"

Kenny said nothing.

"You aren't being very obedient, kitty," the brunet said warningly.

He still said nothing.

"Fine," Cartman growled out, "you asked for it, Kenny."

Kenny was going to question this, but as he opened his mouth only moans spilled out.

Cartman had his hand on his bulge, squeezing firmly.

"Fuck," he groaned, bucking up.

Cartman shook his head disapprovingly. "You're a slut," he told him, starting to palm him through his jeans roughly.

Kenny could only moan in agreement. Fuck dignity. This felt way too good.

"I always knew you were gay for me," the sadistic brunet said with a roll of his eyes, "but I didn't know you were so masochistic. You got hard so easily, just from me pushing you around. You like being dominated, Ken?" Cartman increased the pressure on Kenny's groin.

"Yes..." he admitted, voice cracking. He began to rut against Cartman's warm hand.

"You'd just love for me to fuck you. I bet you'd just love to be my bitch."

Kenny moaned loudly, tossing his head from side to side. He could feel the hot pleasure pooling in his stomach.

"You're going to cum for me, Ken," Cartman said lowly, "you're going to cum from my touch like the desperate whore you are."

Kenny tried to hold it. He didn't want to give him the satisfaction of having him jizz in his pants.

"And you're going to cry my name when you do," Cartman said this threateningly, and Kenny was convinced by it. He was. He was going to cum for his best friend. "Cum, Kenny."

"Eric!" Kenny cried out, bucking his hips up one last time and cumming into his pants with a broken sob.

The brunet was surprised that he'd said his first name, instead of the usual "Cartman." Not that he was complaining.

Kenny panted slightly, squirming under his friend in discomfort.

Cartman shook his head, cheeks dusting red as he stood up and then pulled Kenny up as well. "God, I hate you, Kenny," he grumbled.

"Why? What'd I do now?!" Kenny said, slightly offended.

"You're so fucking gay! And a whore! I can't believe you did that."

"Uh, dude. That was kinda all you."

Cartman narrowed his eyes and pushed Kenny away forcefully.

Kenny hadn't completely recovered from his orgasm, and he fell right onto his ass.

Cartman sighed, his face softening.

"I'm sorry, Ken," he said quietly, helping him up again, "I'm kind of a shitty friend, aren't I?"

"Don't be sorry," the blond said with a grin, "that was kinda fun..."

"I meant for pushing you. Not the whole... thing." Cartman rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"Meh, both were fun."

"Goddamn why are you so masochistic? It's weird."

"Why are you so sadistic?"

"Shut up, Kinny."

"But seriously, dude, what was that all about?"

Cartman sighed and pulled Kenny to the couch. "I dunno..." he said with a shrug, "it just... happened?"

Kenny furrowed his eyebrows. "Kinky roleplay sex doesn't just happen... often."

"Was that sex?!" Cartman said worriedly. He hadn't wanted their first time to be like... that.

"Well, no..." Kenny said slowly, "but I came, so..."

Cartman blushed and looked at his lap.

"Hey, uh... so like, have you been... wanting to do that... for a while?" Kenny asked awkwardly.

"No!" the brunet shouted angrily. But he sighed. "Okay, maybe a little."

"Really?" Kenny asked with a grin, "how long?"

"I dunno... like, a year?" he answered, "it's stupid."

"It's not stupid... but, if you like me, then why did you refuse to kiss me?"

Cartman blushed harder. "I was scared," he admitted.

"Are you scared now?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because now Im afraid you hate me."

"I couldn't hate you, you're my best friend."

Cartman sighed in disappointment. "Yeah, I know..."

Kenny looked at him with concern. "Did I say something bad?"

"No, it's just... I think I fucked up. I like you more than a friend, Ken. And that was not a good way to tell you."

Kenny just chuckled. "Really? I don't think that could have gone any better. Except maybe if we actually had sex."

Cartman shoved him. "Shut the actual fuck up," he said, face reddening like crazy.

Kenny smirked. "Make me."

Cartman looked at him surprised before getting the hint. He swallowed thickly before pulling the smaller blond into his lap and gripping his hips firmly. "Okay..." he murmured before pressing their lips together.

Kenny responded immediately, wrapping his arms around Cartman's neck and kissing him with passion. He could tell that the other was unsure of himself, but he tried to reassure him by tangling his fingers into his brown hair and tugging lightly. He dragged his tongue along Cartman's lower lip.

Cartman hesitated but tentatively opened his mouth for Kenny, immediately receiving the blond's tongue in his mouth. He heard himself let out a small moan as the other's tongue worked around his.

After what seemed like an eternity, or maybe two, Eric pulled away in favour of getting a breath. "That – was – really – hot..." he said, embarrassed.

Kenny chuckled. "You're good at that," he purred, wiggling his hips slightly.

Cartman rolled his eyes and pushed him off. "But you have to shut up now, that was the deal," he reminded him.

"Okay... but I have just one more question."

"What?"

"...Can I borrow a pair of boxers?"


End file.
